The most important holiday to my people the Jews is almost over. For those of you who don’t know or have had your heads either in the sand or up your own behind for the last many thousands of years, this holiday is known, in the lingo of my People, as Pesach. Gentiles for some reason of their own, probably not a nice one for Jews, called it Passover. Maybe they could not pronounce PesACH. Germans are the only others who seem to be able to correctly sound out “ACH” because they are always, from childbirth, going around saying things like “Ach tu Lieber” or “Ach in Vey”. They got pissed that people thought they were Jews so they invented Kristalnacht and the Holocaust, a word that only Steven Spielberg can spell correctly but has a lot of meaning for us Jews that are still around despite the germans attempts to remove my people from this planet.
Pesach is our holiday that celebrates our freedom from slavery in Egypt, where we became famous thousands of years later for some really mysterious constructions. We don’t have a holiday that celebrates the cessation of crucifixions by the Roman Empire, although those acts created a whole new religion for people who were tired of making six pointed stars and could just nail a long and a short piece of wood together. Goldsmiths loved it because of all the obvious reasons. We don’t have a holiday that celebrates the end of the Spanish Inquisition, which ended when they ran out of Jews to murder, torture, or attempt to bribe into a religion some misguided rabbi and his congregants started preaching 1400 years earlier. We don’t have a holiday celebrating the end of the Pogroms in Russia, because they haven’t ended and because the Polish people are waiting in the shadows to wreak whatever havoc they can on my people since they fear we might return to claim the land they stole from us during, before, and after WW2. We don’t have a holiday celebrating the end of the Nazis and their holocaust, our Shoah. Like the inquisition, that was too horrible to celebrate the end of because there were just oh too many bodies.
We don’t celebrate our tragedies. We aren’t greek and altho we like Shakespeare, ours are too real and must be remembered with respect, and silence, and honor for those who were murdered. What we DO celebrate is our Freedom. Our Freedom from slavery, our freedom from oppression, and our freedom to celebrate our freedom.
It is a good feeling to celebrate without worrying about some spanish priest, or some russian cossack, or some nazi bastard knocking on our door and calling us out to be killed. Despite what many believe, our heritage is that of a tribe (actually 12 tribes) of warriors, and we were known for our strength (Samson), bravery (Daniel), toughness (David), and perseverance (Eliazer). It took 3 years for the Romans to get to the summit of Masada, and they only got there because all 900+ of the Jews resisting decided to commit suicide rather than kill any more Italians. Did you ever think that there might not have been a Mafia if the Jews on Masada decided to stick it out for another year?
It took over a month for the Germans to get the last few Jews out of the Warsaw Ghetto. The whole country of Poland didn’t last as long as the fighting Jews of the Ghetto.
When Egypt, Jordan, Syria, Iraq, Saudi Arabia and whatever other arab rifraf massed their armies on the borders of Israel in 1947–48, the few thousands of Jews stood strong and fast against a million arabs seeking blood, and we defeated the arabs. We have never lost a war since that time, and our freedom is intact. Israel stands strong, resolute, vigilant and free, and that is what we celebrate on the eight days of Passover, or, Pesach. Every year, at the closing of our dinner telling the story of Pesach, we say: “Ha Shanah b’ah b’Yirushalayim”. This means “May we all be together in the coming year in Jerusalem”. Our Capitol is Jerusalem, our prayers are about remembering Jerusalem, and returning to Jerusalem, and being in Jerusalem. Pesach celebrates our freedom, and it celebrates our love for Jerusalem.
We will never forget that.