Oh, so much fuss over colored eggs.

Who or what is the anti-christ?  I’ve heard of anti semites, anti muslims, anti hindis, and antibellums.  I’ve even heard of anti christ but I don’t know what it means.  I also don’t know about easter.  Besides a holiday to celebrate one of the few things most americans like that are colored, i.e. eggs, what is easter about?  I’ve heard of easter, and norwester, and sou’wester, and east is east, and west is west and Mark Twain not meeting either, in retrospect because it was Rudyard Kipling who said that even before Gert Lawrence carried on about Rose and Rose and Rose, and I know what a norwester and a sou’wester and an oilskin are, but what’s easter and why paint eggs and why wear bonnets and have parades?  

And what’s so good about Good Friday?  Just because Robinson Crusoe and Daniel Defoe liked him is not a real reason to call him Good Friday.  Is there a Bad Friday?  Is Bad Friday white or pink to contrast with Good Friday?  And why is it that people say TGIF?  Does the Lord, the Host of Hosts, care?  I thought the Lord liked Saturday, or in 2,000.000.000 cases, Sunday.  

I knew an arab who wouldn’t work on Friday.  He wouldn’t work on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday or Sunday either.  He said it was against religions to work and that if people would make him work, he would blow them up.  He was always blowing up things.  We finally found him a job at the 50cent card store blowing up balloons.  We couldn’t tell him it was a job, just made him pay $1 a day to come in and blow up balloons.  He really liked blowing up balloons for people with Jewish names.  We finally had to tell him that using his flatulence to blow up balloons would not be acceptable hereafter.  He said we didn’t know what he was hereafter, or even thereafter. We sent him out to look for the key to the oarlock. He was last seen sifting sand in the Sahara with a magnet, but never on Friday. 

And in that, lies the true tale.

After all, it had to be somewhere, and there was as good a place as here, regardless of what color your eggs are or where they are floating.